Alone- Journal

For once in my life, I felt afraid of normal people I see in my ordinary day-to-day life. I can't look into their eyes anymore. One woman's pupil seemed slurred like words of a drunken husband. One woman's eyes hurt just as much as mine. Wrinkles, droopiness... seeking redemption but being condemned. Another pair, blood shot like the firey pitts of hell. I wish there was a name for my disease, a new discovery of how each mind works- my mind. "Heart-broken" can't be it. Drug-induced addiction should be the case. Withdrawal is what I taste. Me, craving to feel something besides numbness, stabbing at the places that should hurt the most. I'm tired of care. I'm tired of lonely. Comfort is needed here. My bed, my fortress- I used to share it with my entire world. But now, my entire world is dead, beat, gone. What do I do? Around friends, my smile is forged onto my face. Alone. Alone, the tears stream down my calloused face. My damaged skin is the type you used to caress. I don't understand. I want to go back. Back to the time when I was good enough, when I was praised the way I now praise you. My God, My Goddess, what do I do? I'm alone. But I hope you're not alone too. You deserve better, you deserve love. Attention. Physical expression. All the things you claimed I couldn't give you...properly. Now I'm forced to be alone, making myself busy so I won't cry in their faces. Times like these I would call on my best friend to see me through. Too. Bad. My. Best. Friend. Was...




You
<3
2-2-4