Ever sat under medium sparked fire? Ever stared at oatmeal while it’s burning effortlessly till it reaches the top? The scorched heat bubbling from underneath, like the words slithering beneath my skin, being careful not to touch too much, or the pain will never stop. It has hit the spot, where the strict cuts in vital organs can’t be reversed. “I’m broken,” that’s all you’ll hear from me. The frenzy of juice that’s boiled up from my toes to my skull is a volcano ready to erupt. I’ve said over and over “I’ll stay” “I’ll stay”. But this time, I realized me staying is hurting me more than it is you. You can stay with no feeling. You can kiss her with no remorse. You can forget me…even when you say “impossible”. I will not be number two. I will be loved by someone worth it. But when that time comes, I won’t love back. Because, you see, I am head over heels and irrevocably in love with a girl I hate.
Inked blood slashed across my face, my eyes are blinded. No longer can I see the vision of you that used to be, white glow around the rims of each curve. No, in the eyes of the devil I only see deception. I see a fake with no value, I see…cheating. I see the girl you chose for the crime. The grim man with the black hood should touch me now, that’s where I’d rather be. No longer a part of existence, but rather having to feel and experience everything that could kill a soul. A tender soul. A loving soul. If I sit back and wonder why or how, I’d live in a torture chamber, staring at small sharp tools that will soon bulge my eyes out, or listening to the tattter tatter of the water, dropping ever so slowly from the windowsill.
“I will never be this girl again” just doesn’t cover it. So many times the words were spoken and the love risk was taken once more. Why? How? I slit my throat halfway out the door, whispering "No more...no more".
