Let Me Be-Journal

"Average-looking girl but unconventionally beautiful at all hours of the night. When I wake up, it goes away :(, I kind of wish it didn't."

Never read the writing of my past, that's the policy.

Wonder everyday why you never sweatin' me, when I'm sitting in hells kitchen, the heat constantly beatin' me.

The numbers in my head speed over and over again, kind of making me wish those gotdamn sheep were dead.

It's like skin I can't shed, with you on my mind it's impossible to unwind.

Lost forever in a pool of crimson red "could be's".

I want what I can never have, why won't you just let me be?

Desperate for change but my love for you remains the same. Thinking, contemplating on all the promises you claimed.

But that was then, this is now- boy.. what is this?

Reality? Why can't the crowd just let me be?

Lines and lines of drugs uncombined with love is insignificant, so look at me sitting here chattin' up all your arrogance.

No one can ever love a fool, my great dependence can be my tool...

to grow stronger and kick such complex memories from following me at school.

Unconcentrated, yeah. Opposite of OJ, and no longer can I tolerate it.

I'm motivated.

Live hard to die hard; girl that's right, I died hard-

when you took my life away with a jar of worn hearts.

Nevermind it all cause like Halle I got lives to spare, let me get my share.

A real heart is what I need, but you treat me unfair.

Waiting for a hit up after a week of silence, just to prove you "care"?

Girl my heart is quiet. No longer can I preach about the things you taught

Me.

It's time for me to take my journal, write my own scripture, and just

Leave.

"I Was Just Thinking..."

You're fading faster than that hickie on your neck. She never knew it'd be this way. Reading letters and notes, a beautiful instrument- the power of words. It makes her sick. Sick to the bone. She sits there with her stomach clenched, head throbbing, uncontrollable shaking, bodily sensitivity. When she thinks of you, every day, you make her want to go back to how everything began. But you're "addicted to this life, it's gon' be hard to quit". Ya'll had a long run. Now all the emotions built up and are leaking out the cracks of her brain like slimetime nickelodeon. Escape. Sometimes she wants to hate...you. She wakes up and walks the streets every morning, wanting to approach anyone, anything, "Let me at'm!" She wants to just grab'm. Shake the reality out of her memory and go back to the dream ya'll used to be. But nah,

this is me.

The Present

"Trying to change my nightmares to dreams"

--There's a limit to everything.